The Vagaries of Viagra, or, What Won't Men Do for Sex?

So it's come to this. Having sex is more important to men than being able to see.

I exaggerate.

For now.

The FDA is looking into some rare reports of blindness in users of Viagra and Cialis, two of the three male impotence drugs. The drug companies, to their credit, already had posted warnings about possible visual side effects because many of the men taking these drugs did so because their impotence was caused by other, high-risk conditions. Blurry or blue-tinged vision, however, is not the same as not being able to see at all.

Viagra certainly doesn't need any more problems in the wake of revelations that it has had Medicaid paying for prescriptions for sex offenders. What I want to know is: who are the doctors who prescribed these drugs in the first place?? And if they're not to blame, why don't we have some safeguards in place so that men who have done serious damage when they do get it up, aren't aided in potentially doing so again?

While I'm digressing, let's talk about the irony of a society so testerone-charged that sex is used to sell everything, but it's still considered "wrong," "dirty," or "over-the-top" to see a man nude. I'm not talking about an ass cheek here or there; I'm talking Full Frontal.

What's the big deal, guys? I'll admit the female form is generally more pleasing to look at, but what have you got to hide? You're so obssessed with looking good that you've got steroids, "male enhancement" drugs, hair coloring and hair restorers, and designer lines of skin care products just for men. The funny thing is, it's an accepted part of our society that men grow "distinguished" as they grow older. Paul Newman and Sean Connery are still considered sexy. When was the last time anyone said the same of Elizabeth Taylor or Zsa Zsa Gabor?

So what is it you're afraid of, guys? That when it comes down to it, your sex is all you have to offer? Come on, quit hiding.

I mean, you're using Viagra, right?

Character Assassination? More Like the Slow Death of Character by Slovenliness and Greed

In an oddly related way to my last post, I have to ask: what the hell is the matter with people? Do they have no sense of decency and responsibility?

We have been in our house for just over three months and have had a problem with most of the major systems. I have not-so-jokingly suggested that the previous owners simply moved from room to room as things broke down, then when too many things weren't working, they decided to sell the house.

And yes, we had a home inspection, but the sheer multitude of things needing attention (and the major distractions of the need to tent the house for termites, then tent and disassemble the kitchen for mold remediation) only point out to us how much we really, really, like this house to be able to grit our teeth, shrug, and move on in anctipation of the next minor disaster.

We would be livid rather than annoyed if the previous owners hadn't shown their one spark of humanity by getting a home warranty for the house. We've called the home warranty company so many times I'm sure they look at their caller ID and think, "oh god, it's the Mellons again."

We didn't have this much trouble with either of our previous (and both much older) homes. So is it a matter of those homes being built better, or being maintained better?

Perhaps it was our fault for making assumptions. First, assuming that people living in a house on the border of an upper middle class neighborhood would have been working to "keep up with the Joneses." Second, assuming that someone who worked in the real estate industry would actually appreciate the multiple values of owning a house. Finally, assuming that other people were interested in living in a home instead of a stepping stone to the next bigger box.

It comes down to this: Own Your Shit. If something breaks, fix it. If you don't use it and don't want to fix it, get rid of it. I have my own clutter to clean up and deal with. I don't need to pay for somebody else's lazy ass ways. And if all of this is just too much for you to deal with, then do the rest of us a favor: RENT until you're mature enough to handle the responsibility.

Do I sound angry? I am, and not just for my own, selfish reasons. There are many people out there busting their asses to live the American dream, provide for their families, buy a home. Then you have people who have the means to do all of this easily and take it all for granted. Disposable income apparently means everything's disposable: houses included. I'd love for those people to spend some time in the strugglers' shoes. Maybe then they'd better appreciate what they have.

Or maybe then we'd learn that power and money don't necessarily corrupt; poor moral charater does.

When Did Good Service Go Down the Drain?

When did it go out of style to provide good service? I'm not even talking about service with a smile--I gave up on that years ago. But good service. In fact, these days, any service would be nice.

When we moved into our house there was a mold problem that required removing everything along a critical wall of the kitchen: the wall containing the sink. The dishwasher, which is adjacent to this now-empty wall, was also disconnected. Nearly three months later, I am still washing dishes in the sink of the half bath. Why?

We advertised on Craigslist for someone to come and re-build us cabinets along the blank wall, install a new countertop along that stretch (something to complement, but certainly not try to match, the patterned granite in the rest of the kitchen), patch a large hole in the drywall between the kitchen and the living room, and reconnect the sink, garbage disposal, and dishwasher. Several people responded, we picked three and set up appointments.

One never showed.

One showed, enthusiastically gave us suggestions (good ones) and promised to have an estimate by the end of the day.

One showed the next day, not-so-subtly let us know that he had so many jobs he couldn't remember which one this was, and said he'd get back to us.

Needless to say, neither did. Nor did they respond to our follow-up efforts.

So we turned to the pros. The first guy was such a turn-off we lost all hope. He ignored everything we said and wrote up an estimate based on replacing all of the countertops and some other unwanted work. We screened from the Yellow Pages and the Internet after that, and were told (finally, honestly) by one guy that the job sounded too small.

We revamped our plan to meet what seemed like a minimum threshold of work and have set up appointments to meet with folks and get estimates. In the meantime, tired of breaking and almost breaking things in the bathroom sink, we decided to pay the price for a plumber to hook up the dishwasher since the remodel will likely be another month away (minimum).

I called several "urgent appointment" companies from the Yellow Pages, only to find that if I was having a real emergency they wouldn't be able to see me until the next day anyway. I ended up setting up an appointment with Rapid Plumbing, who had several phone numbers for locations around the valley. I explained that I had a new job and I didn't know my husband's schedule, so it would need to be before 9am. We set it for 8:00 and they said they'd call before leaving.

8:00 came and went. No plumber.
8:15 I handed phone duty over to my husband and got ready for work.
8:30 they called and said the plumber was on his way. I left 10 minutes later, with a check on the countyer for my husband to sign.
9:15 I called from work to check in. No plumber, and my husband had to leave for work at 9:45.
10:00 they called and said the plumber was there--was anyone home?

You have GOT to be kidding me! I coldly reminded them that the appointment was for 8:00 and it was now 10:00. Amazingly, they then asked if we wanted to reschedule (!!!)

I was raised with the idea that you provided service in return for what you were lucky enough to enjoy. I started volunteering before I could drive, and I continue to volunteer today. It's not a burden, and it's not something I do half-assed because I'm not getting paid for it. Apparently the idea of providing excellent service no matter what is an antequated idea(l). But someday, those of us who still care enough to do the very best, will be too old, too jaded, or too dead to make a difference.

And then what happens?